Posted by: tlnemethy | December 14, 2013

Freeze Frame

Driving from Springfield was a debacle I wasn’t expecting. I mean, not only had my lovely little Squirtle taken a wonderful turn for the worst in forcing me to put in a new clutch (and SURPRISE we installed a new flywheel too) but those wonderful quick fixes ended up taking four days instead of the estimated five hours. Of course, there had been a major storm that rolled through the entire Midwest, pretty much demolishing any chances I had of safely and productively continuing my scheduled journey to Kansas, Indiana, Ohio, Virginia, and finally home to New Hampshire.

It was a decent storm though. Lot’s of freezing rain and icy treacherous road conditions. In fact, while I was spending the first five hours in the waiting room of a Pep Boys, I saw a ton of terrified people come in putting new tires on and getting chains to cut through the snow. There was a lady sitting across from me wearing a full snow suit and there had yet to be a single snowflake fall from the sky. She looked like a relative of mine and I couldn’t help but get a kick out of seeing her overreacting so early.

I didn’t look too cool myself, though, as I was hunching over a foil roaster pan that contained my seedling lettuce varieties so they wouldn’t freeze to death in my car. When I pulled it out of my car, everyone in the office perked up thinking I was going to be divvying up some delicious cookies or cupcakes or something. Nope. Sorry to disappoint. Just some lettuce leaves you can pluck off for foraging.

I think they took pity on me as I sat there with a mopey look on my face as hour after hour they still couldn’t fix my car because they gave me control over the TV remote. That’s true pity.

Four days later, after putting parts in my car they never asked me for, nor did they quote me estimations on, I drove off the lot with a very sensitive clutch and snowdrifts to deal with. You see, Missouri had yet to really clear most of their roads even though the storm had rolled through days before. I rolled out of town the next morning and made it uneventfully to Kansas where I was lulled into a false sense of security before a secondary storm rolled in.

Then, the cars in front of me started to put their brakes on. It didn’t seem too different than any other day on the highway when trapped behind a slowpoke, but that was until I touched the brakes. Immediately, I was sliding on my brand new tires towards certain death through decapitation by a red truck bed my car was approaching at a decent clip. Then I started to turn to the left. At least I wouldn’t hit the truck bed dead-on. Squirtle might survive if I hit broadside. Honestly, I’d be kinda pissed if I’d just spent my entire paycheck fixing a car I was gonna demolish only a day later.

I hit the median at a decent speed, slower than the speed limit, yes, but still faster than I’d like to go off roading in my little V-dub. There also happened to be a car already down in the ditch just twenty feet from my car when it finally stopped rolling with a very nice rusty thunk sound. I swore profusely, parked it, and took a quick walk around to make sure I hadn’t blown a tire on the rough landing or that nothing was hanging off the undercarriage. It looked good. No visible damage anyways, but the ground was so rough that I probably wouldn’t have noticed it. A cop was there too. I gave him an awkward wave as I started off the median and tried to merge back onto the highway.

The car started with a nice, grating I’m gonna explode any second type of noise and the engine temp immediately spiked to an unnatural level which moved me to pull off the side of the road again and examine the bottom best as I could. Nothing looked too wrong so I limped the car the remaining 40 miles to Manhattan and made plans to find yet another auto place to keep me in the running for my most epic road trip of all time.

Posted by: tlnemethy | December 5, 2013

Generosity

I have a problem with accepting things that are given freely. I know, I know. Take it like a man. I guess it just brings up those feelings of inadequacies that harbor deep within. I want to be able to take care of myself, I want people to see me as if I was self-sufficient. Taking handouts is just against the grain. Maybe I’m just stubborn. That wouldn’t be the first time I’d had the realization, you know.

I’d rather be that person who skimps on stuff to get by than the person who depends on the casual generosity of others. Probably one of the many reasons my dating history is so lame. Dudes, you will not be paying for my meal. I take care of myself. If for that odd chance I do let you pay, you should know that I am not ordering what I might have ordered otherwise. I am ordering something that has a tasty price rather than a delicious food value. It’s just how I am. Get over it.

There are a lot of set standards that I live my life by. Just as I don’t readily accept handouts, I try not to surprise people. I won’t be showing up at your house unannounced, at least not until we are exceptionally great friends or even relatives. It’s kind of like inviting yourself to something without knowing if you are really wanted. Bad choice. Callous, really.

I’m a hypocrite, though. I can understand that. While I’d rather not accept anything from anyone, I do love to treat people. I don’t know how many tabs I’ve picked up over the years, or how many invitations I’ve extended to my friends. It’s been quite a few. But still I shy away from the expectation that someone else will pick up my slack.

These days, I think a decent bit of the population actually expects to be helped out. It isn’t so much a kindness extended, but more so a necessity or obligation. There’s nothing that pisses me off more than the person who expects me to pay for something. While my hand may already have been reaching for my credit card, that would get placed back in its pocket until an awkward standoff over the bill ensues. Arguing isn’t worth it. Generosity is an option, but it definitely doesn’t need to be utilized on every occasion. For those who have been extremely generous to me, thanks are due. I don’t express my emotions very well in the moment. Sure, I say thanks, but really the gratitude goes so much deeper.

Posted by: tlnemethy | November 20, 2013

Feel The Burn. The Garlic Burn.

I feel the burn. The garlic burn. You know how you read about these great historical figures who make serendipitous discoveries? I feel like I’ve been making those discoveries ever since stepping foot on the tilled soil of the farm. First off. Garlic is not only delicious, but dangerous. I’ve peeled about a dozen mason jars full of cloves of garlic since getting here and I think the burn is starting to effect my fingers. After my last major bout with the peeling I had a distinctive gasoline-dipped matchstick feeling in the fingertips of my left hand. It lasted three days, and when the burn stopped there was nothing left but a dull numbness, almost like when you start to build up calluses. I chalked it up to callus. About a week later the skin peeled off and I was left with an empty void where I used to see whirls and loops of fingerprints. Hey, at least now I can commit a crime with those few fingers. Won’t leave a trace. Unfortunately, my left hand is neither as skilled as necessary, nor is it quite so criminally inclined.

Overall though, as my time is running its course on farm life, I’ve realized quite a few things that I’d originally assumed were a different way.

  1. Garlic is the best form of slow-torture imaginable.
  2. Mulching is not just for looks or to add nutrients to the soil, but it blocks the weeds from breaking through and growing on the surface.
  3. A bucket of rocks will suffice in enticing cows to follow you after a breakout.
  4. Watermelon is not just a summer food. In fact, within the last two days I ate an entire family-sized watermelon by myself. I now feel like I need to pee constantly.
  5. Upon meeting a stray, I will imagine my entire future life with this animal within a span of about two seconds.
  6. Leather is a bitch to sew. No wonder why people use cotton.
  7. Missouri is not as far south as my mind told me. In fact, I might be slowly freezing to death here because I mostly brought tank tops and shorts.
  8. No matter how disturbing it originally was, throwing a plastic cup full of pee out your window is so much fun.
  9. One does not necessarily pick up canoeing skills from life guarding near canoeing instruction all summer.
  10. Mostly vegetarianism is not as bad as I imagined it to be. Who needs to eat meat all the time anyways? Once in a while is good enough.

 

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