I feel the burn. The garlic burn. You know how you read about these great historical figures who make serendipitous discoveries? I feel like I’ve been making those discoveries ever since stepping foot on the tilled soil of the farm. First off. Garlic is not only delicious, but dangerous. I’ve peeled about a dozen mason jars full of cloves of garlic since getting here and I think the burn is starting to effect my fingers. After my last major bout with the peeling I had a distinctive gasoline-dipped matchstick feeling in the fingertips of my left hand. It lasted three days, and when the burn stopped there was nothing left but a dull numbness, almost like when you start to build up calluses. I chalked it up to callus. About a week later the skin peeled off and I was left with an empty void where I used to see whirls and loops of fingerprints. Hey, at least now I can commit a crime with those few fingers. Won’t leave a trace. Unfortunately, my left hand is neither as skilled as necessary, nor is it quite so criminally inclined.
Overall though, as my time is running its course on farm life, I’ve realized quite a few things that I’d originally assumed were a different way.
- Garlic is the best form of slow-torture imaginable.
- Mulching is not just for looks or to add nutrients to the soil, but it blocks the weeds from breaking through and growing on the surface.
- A bucket of rocks will suffice in enticing cows to follow you after a breakout.
- Watermelon is not just a summer food. In fact, within the last two days I ate an entire family-sized watermelon by myself. I now feel like I need to pee constantly.
- Upon meeting a stray, I will imagine my entire future life with this animal within a span of about two seconds.
- Leather is a bitch to sew. No wonder why people use cotton.
- Missouri is not as far south as my mind told me. In fact, I might be slowly freezing to death here because I mostly brought tank tops and shorts.
- No matter how disturbing it originally was, throwing a plastic cup full of pee out your window is so much fun.
- One does not necessarily pick up canoeing skills from life guarding near canoeing instruction all summer.
- Mostly vegetarianism is not as bad as I imagined it to be. Who needs to eat meat all the time anyways? Once in a while is good enough.
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