Posted by: tlnemethy | November 20, 2013

Feel The Burn. The Garlic Burn.

I feel the burn. The garlic burn. You know how you read about these great historical figures who make serendipitous discoveries? I feel like I’ve been making those discoveries ever since stepping foot on the tilled soil of the farm. First off. Garlic is not only delicious, but dangerous. I’ve peeled about a dozen mason jars full of cloves of garlic since getting here and I think the burn is starting to effect my fingers. After my last major bout with the peeling I had a distinctive gasoline-dipped matchstick feeling in the fingertips of my left hand. It lasted three days, and when the burn stopped there was nothing left but a dull numbness, almost like when you start to build up calluses. I chalked it up to callus. About a week later the skin peeled off and I was left with an empty void where I used to see whirls and loops of fingerprints. Hey, at least now I can commit a crime with those few fingers. Won’t leave a trace. Unfortunately, my left hand is neither as skilled as necessary, nor is it quite so criminally inclined.

Overall though, as my time is running its course on farm life, I’ve realized quite a few things that I’d originally assumed were a different way.

  1. Garlic is the best form of slow-torture imaginable.
  2. Mulching is not just for looks or to add nutrients to the soil, but it blocks the weeds from breaking through and growing on the surface.
  3. A bucket of rocks will suffice in enticing cows to follow you after a breakout.
  4. Watermelon is not just a summer food. In fact, within the last two days I ate an entire family-sized watermelon by myself. I now feel like I need to pee constantly.
  5. Upon meeting a stray, I will imagine my entire future life with this animal within a span of about two seconds.
  6. Leather is a bitch to sew. No wonder why people use cotton.
  7. Missouri is not as far south as my mind told me. In fact, I might be slowly freezing to death here because I mostly brought tank tops and shorts.
  8. No matter how disturbing it originally was, throwing a plastic cup full of pee out your window is so much fun.
  9. One does not necessarily pick up canoeing skills from life guarding near canoeing instruction all summer.
  10. Mostly vegetarianism is not as bad as I imagined it to be. Who needs to eat meat all the time anyways? Once in a while is good enough.


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