Posted by: tlnemethy | October 13, 2013

A Lick and A Fondling

The cows and I seem to be getting along quite nicely. Usually, they’re pretty skittish and avoid you entirely unless you happen to be feeding them. But lately, I’ve been doing at least one feeding a day and have started to push their boundaries a bit. All the cows have a sweet Flintstones-esque hairdo because they brush up against a lot of burrs and stick tights when we have them forage outside the barn paddock. I’m sure it itches. Their tails are covered in them too and if they ever swing it at you it really hurts because it’s solid burr.  A pain in the ass, sure. But adorable to look at.

It must have just been a really mild day for the cows, but I had the best afternoon ever yesterday. First, 18 licked my face. This is a big deal since I’m always trying to touch the cows and they just shoot me this glare before darting off to eat at a different pile of hay. If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again. Anyways, I was kneeling down at the fence posts, pretty much creeping on Little Toe interacting with the other calf when I see 18 casually stroll over to me and put her head through the rails. I didn’t move a muscle. In fact, I really didn’t even want to shift my glance at her because that slight of a motion might have set her running. 18

She has to turn her head sideways to get it through the slats because her head is just so massive. She’s a big Bessie. She checks out the bill of my ball cap, sniffing it noisily while I get a clear view inside a nostril. I’m still motionless. Then she moves down my hat to my face, giving me the best close up of her shiny nose that I’m probably ever gonna get. She sniffs at my mouth and suddenly I’m very aware that I just ate a large slice of apple zucchini bread. I smell like dessert. She wants to eat my face. Then out comes her oversized cat-tongue. Basically, it was like soggy sandpaper grating off half my cheek. At least I don’t need to exfoliate that side tonight.  She smelled like warm hay. Probably because she’d just been eating it, but it made me wonder if they always smell like hay.

She backed away after realizing that I did not taste like an apple. But I think her interest in me sparked some from the rest. Everyone came over to congregate by the fence. I felt ogled…and it was wonderful. I stood up and reached out to the nearest cow, anticipating a hasty retreat, but was shocked to find the cow totally cool with me touching her forehead. I rubbed her head for like fifteen minutes before my hand got tired and I just let it dangle there. Then, like a really big dog, she started nudging my hand with her head. My eyes were probably bugged out and I know for a fact that I had a goofy-ass expression on my face. Of course, I resumed the petting more vigorously and with an added gusto.

These cows are stoking my ego.

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