Sitka or Bust: Commute The World

Yes, that is what you call a blind dinosaur’s dog. And it brings up a rant that I’ve been stewing on for a while now: 3D movies. Why must we continue to make movies in 3D? Sure, sure. The special effects make it totally worth the added fee at the theater. The picture is just so realistic. It makes me feel like I’m actually there. Blah blah blah and an added bah humbug. I’ve never had a problem getting invested in movies that were only two dimensions, in fact, I always assumed they were already 3D because they look that way to me.

Maybe I’m just angry because fitting a pair of retro cool goggles on my head while already wearing a pair of normal spectacles seems like overkill, and really is just irksome to my face.

Maybe I’m actually a ridiculously stingy person who balks at the average theater ticket price, let alone the jacked up fees for an added dimension.

Maybe I hate change.

I’m sure they all play into my dislike, as well as a whole treasure trove of reasons I’ve yet to admit to myself, but I can’t be the only one out there to feel this way. I just find that 3D movies are meant for kids in that the plot lines always include unnecessary actions with the only goal of utilizing the 3D effect.

Cue the “Pec Pop of Love.”

Seriously? What does that add to the film beyond the label of 3D?

Whatever. I laid my prejudices aside to go see my all-time favorite movie in 3D as it has just been remastered and re-released in theaters. JURASSIC PARK. Insert epic dinosaur noises here. Figuring that it would be the same movie, just with pop-out dinosaurs, I broke down and saw it. It was actually very well done, but I think the base they were working with was just too good to fail me. But it wasn’t completely the same film and that really irked me.

Scenes were cut entirely or shortened oddly, leaving me with a did I or didn’t I make that scene up in my head feeling. Nothing major, and I didn’t even catch all of the changes right off the bat, but I don’t like my steadfast movie memories being altered when the film was, at least in my mind, only supposed to be added to.

Go watch it and see if you catch any of the changes. But for all you people who won’t get out to see it, I’ll include the YouTube clip of one of my favorite spoofs on Jurassic Park. After you watch it you will most likely be experiencing the same feelings of disappointment and also utter elation at having witnessed such a thing in your lifetime.

If I ever make a movie, it’ll probably end up like this one, or at least I can hope.