Sitka or Bust: Commute The World

I worry that in the years to come my memories will fade and I will have to rely solely on the photographs I’ve acquired. Maybe that is why I’ve been taking so many pictures this summer Entertainment in Sitka is limited to adventuring and foolish shenanigans. I have been known to do them both, but recently, I’ve decided to adopt a photographers standpoint and just record these things so I can relive the memories in my glory days. Tonight, I egged on the money-induced and youthful foolishness that only young whipper snappers can produce. In the staff lodge is a jar of hot peppers, obviously homemade, and chock full of entire cloves of garlic, whole peppercorns, cumin, and vinegar.

A bet was waged today to eat said jar in 20 minutes for $30. No one wanted in. The total moved to $50, then $100 where eyes started to perk up. Even I was tempted, although I cannot even stomach Taco Bell’s Fire sauce and I had just shotgunned a 16 oz RedBull. My stomach was sloshy the entire night’s drive in the Punisher, and it did look like I’d wet myself while whipping shitties, alas I had only spilled a tad of the Bull when the door decided to open mid shitty. I knew I would puke as soon as the first drop of hot vinegar hit my tongue. Tempting as it was, especially considering I’ve only received one tip since I’ve been here, and it was a bag of Twizzlers.

The adventurous lad, our Processor, deliberated for a while before letting the near-instant wealth get to his head. He took it like a champ though, pounding that jar back with rapid fire speed,especially since the time limit had been lowered to ten minutes with the specification of no puking (or shitting oneself) until 20 minutes post last jalapeno, every last morsel consumed, and the juices ingested as well. It took him a whopping minute and a half to do the challenge and he earned himself almost $200 in random change and crumpled hooker money. Not only can that kid sing, but he can hold his own. I only worry that he doesn’t develop a loose O-ring tomorrow. As for now, I’ll keep the baby powder and Vaseline  stocked in the boy’s bathroom.