Sitka or Bust: Commute The World

So, in preparation for my journey into adulthood (post actually turning into an adult), I decided to brush up on my limited knowledge of auto mechanics.  Now, in Florida there were the kindly Road Rangers to save stranded motorists from their own stupidity, but in the rest of the continental US you have to fend for yourself. Alaska and Hawaii have more grey areas that include bear attacks and pineapple itch.

Mostly, I’ll do anything that gets me into a jumpsuit, especially one that doesn’t clash with my old, brown, Imma-be-a-badass flannel.

I was expecting more of a point and learn type tutorial, but apparently Papa Bear is more fond of a do and learn type so I crawled under my car for my lesson. Considering my brother and Papa Bear are just the mechanically inclined type of individual they seem to have been born with the Mr. Fix It gene. I tend to demolish.

Anyways. I’m laying under my car staring up at the undercarriage (hehe) and I can really only see a fragment of my pops pointing to things from above. He hands me a weird lasso type device for grabbing the oil filter and I fumble around with that for a while before I scrape my knuckles on the oil filter housing and get the sucker loose. Pops is telling me that the oil will just gush once I unscrew the filter and he keeps saying that it’ll be hot so all I’m thinking of is scalding my delicate armpit skin on the lava oil. I was a tad nervous about the temperature if you must know. But then, I get to the last groove on the screw and it pops loose and I get hit with the oil and it was a pleasant warm rather than a Jobst glove prerequisite.

Interestingly enough though, getting the oil plug off was probably the hardest part because I lack the upper body strength for awkward positioning manipulation under cars. I must say that the bolt on that sucker must have been tightened by an angry ‘roider because it was “just on there real nice.” I hope you read that last part in my voice with just a hint of yooper accent.

But guys, c’mon. I’m learning about cars. Now I know where my distributor is, how to change an oil filter (and my oil), fill up the gas tank, jack a car (no, not steal), and take the top down on my convertible. That’s really all I’ll ever need to know, but damn I might just keep picking up on things as they come along.

Just saying though, if you ever get the chance to wear a jumpsuit like mine there is no way you’ll be able to resist wandering around with your hands in your pants. It is just way too roomy for that to go unnoticed.