Posted by: tlnemethy | March 25, 2013

Caretaker

So my mum was away for a week and I was subsequently tasked with keeping the house clean, pets and plants alive. The pets are one thing; I’m generally really good about keeping them fed when they drag their bowls around on the tile and make a godforsaken racket. Just kidding. I am a really good pet person and I have them on a feeding schedule because they were a little too well-fed for a majority of my time in Alaska, if you catch my drift.

Anyways, this week just hasn’t been my shining star of solo living. It’s like I regressed into the caring skills of a toddler who knows where the matches are kept. I snapped the tip off of a very nice carving knife in a pack of what I thought to be thawed chicken wings. I currently have the tip secured safely in a ball of scotch tape stuck to the top cupboard so I won’t misplace it or impale myself on it. I put it at eye level too, so I can maybe ship it away if there’s still a warranty on it. Hopefully it won’t be a repeat of the thumbtack I “safely” placed next to my computer so children wouldn’t skewer themselves on it only for my hand to slam down and sacrifice itself to the metal spire.

There’s apparently now an ant infestation in my kitchen. I’m not sure that it is my fault at all though. Could just be spring rearing its ugly creature feature head and invading heavily when I’m the only one to take the blame. They’ve been marching one by one and two by two through the grout infrastructure between the DSC00043kitchen tiles and finding every miniscule piece of crumbage the vacuum cleaner missed. I’m not messy; let me get that across right now. I’ve vacuumed like twelve times this week and put down ant kill traps all over the pet-safe zones of the floor area. Also, is it just me or do those traps really just look like the little cracker and cheese snacks that you send to school with your children?

So with a few days before my mum gets back I realize I never watered a single plant besides my own cactus. So feverishly I roam through every room that I never go into looking for plants that I have never noticed as existing. They are all crispy and just completely devoid of any moisture. I’m hoping that drenching them will perk them up, but seriously I have my doubts. I might have even watered a few fake plants because they all have a strange rubbery feel. Let’s hope two days of smothering love will perk them up so I don’t get a huge lecture when the green-thumb returns.


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