Posted by: tlnemethy | June 13, 2012

Don’t Mess With A Crank

Being tired has always gotten me further into crankiness than anything else. If I’m hungry I just get all antisocial and constantly look for ways to get some numnums, if I’m mad at you I generally just brush it off. When I’m tired though, I get extremely pissy. Usually though, I try to sleep it off and avoid snapping at anyone. Burning bridges has never been my style. Working 7 days a week is starting to take a toll on my motivation I suppose, that and my ability to brush things off.

Remember the fellow housekeeper I mentioned before? The one who tries to sneak attack me into seeing her use the bathroom? She has a habit of opening the door while people are at their most vulnerable if you know what I mean. I try to lock the door at all times, but sometimes it just gets past me. Well, a few nights ago I was really tired and so passed out on my bunk just after dinner, even though it doesn’t get dark here until around 10. I woke up around 11:30 to take off my glasses and my socks and brush my teeth.

Now, coming awake out of a dead sleep to stumble groggily to the bathroom, I forgot to lock the door. Now, normally I would have been paranoid the entire time I was “vulnerable,” but I was pretty close to sleeping on the toilet. I hear the knob turn and see the door open about two inches, at which point I blearily turn to the door and shout an incomprehensible jumble of words culminating with “I’minhere.” The door pauses at those two inches and the hand hesitates. I could actually see her thinking ominously about continuing to open the door and surprise me. Her evil ways won out and the door started to open again, this time with such a rapid speed that all I could do was awkwardly hunch over the porcelain throne and try to save as much dignity as I could.

She pauses with the door completely open, smiling like a fiend and takes a good long look while my pants are around my ankles. The entire time I’m just screaming to get her out and all she does is laugh and gently swing the door shut.  “I caught you mid-wipe.”

“No. I was totally adjusting my pants…” I straighten myself up and, as I pass the mirror, actually see the death glare on my face. I was not a happy camper by any means. What a rude awakening. I open the door and she has made the unfortunate mistake of remaining nearby to gloat. Before she has time to say anything, I’ve lobbed a right hook at her boob. “I’m not in the mood, woman.”

I then crawl back into bed and don’t make it a minute before we are both howling with laughter and replaying the whole ordeal. It only ended when the roommates told us to quit it so they could sleep. “Don’t let it happen again,” I growl before we end things. I know it will. But from now on, the door will always be locked.

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